Five Communication Phrases That Build Rapport and Improve Professional Connections

Building meaningful connections in professional and personal settings often depends on the quality of everyday conversations. For entrepreneurs, business leaders, and professionals, effective communication is a critical driver of collaboration, client relationships, and partnership opportunities. However, navigating small talk and building immediate rapport does not always come naturally to everyone.

In her book, Conversation: How to Connect with Anyone & Make Every Interaction Count, published by Portfolio, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, author Vanessa Van Edwards shares insights from two decades of studying the behavioral patterns of master conversationalists. Her research highlights five specific, authentic phrases that can help individuals overcome conversational awkwardness and establish stronger connections during team meetings, investor calls, and client sessions.

1. 'I was just thinking about you!'

The phrase "I was just thinking about you!" serves as an immediate catalyst for connection because it signals to the recipient that they are remembered and valued. Van Edwards notes that this phrase should only be used when it is entirely genuine. Sharing a spontaneous thought or memory helps put people at ease and establishes a warm, casual tone.

To demonstrate its effectiveness, Van Edwards shares an instance where she wanted to reconnect with a high-profile contact. After encountering a national skimboarding competition over a weekend, she remembered that this contact had an interest in the sport. She reached out with an email detailing the event and attached a video of the winning run. This simple gesture initiated a prompt response, which eventually led to a catch-up call, a breakfast meeting, and an invitation to speak at the contact's corporate retreat.

This approach can be adapted for various everyday interactions, such as:

• Sending a quick text message to check in when someone randomly comes to mind.
• Sharing an interesting item or article and mentioning that it prompted a thought of them.
• Reaching out to a past contact by referencing a topic that was recently brought up by someone else.

2. 'Tell me more!'

Academic and behavioral research consistently demonstrates that asking questions—particularly follow-up questions—increases an individual's likability. It signals active engagement, responsiveness, and a sincere interest in the other person's perspective. The simplest and most direct follow-up prompt is: "Tell me more!"

Van Edwards recalls using this strategy during an emergency room visit for food poisoning. To show appreciation for her nurse, who initially appeared grumpy, Van Edwards noticed a small pin on her badge representing "Mellow Velo," a local bicycle spot. When the nurse confirmed she was an avid cyclist helping organize a family bike ride, Van Edwards, who does not know how to ride a bicycle, kept the conversation going by simply saying, "Tell me more!" This prompt encouraged the nurse to share details about local initiatives, leading to a warmer interaction and more attentive care.

This phrase is also highly effective in group dynamics or networking events. If a speaker is interrupted by a distraction, such as a waiter arriving or someone asking for an item at the table, inviting them to finish their thought by saying, "You were saying something so interesting. Please tell me more!" can help make them feel heard and appreciated.

3. 'Last time we were talking, you mentioned...'

Referencing a specific detail from a previous conversation is a powerful way to show attentiveness. By starting a conversation with "Last time we spoke, you mentioned..." followed by a topic that the other person was enthusiastic about, you demonstrate a strong memory and show that you value their thoughts.

This technique can involve asking about a past vacation, a major work project, or a shared interest. It carries a strong emotional impact because it proves that the listener was fully engaged during their prior interaction.

A notable historical example of this involves basketball legend Earvin "Magic" Johnson and his wife, Cookie. Early in their relationship, after meeting at a university party, Johnson surprised her at her dormitory with yellow roses. He chose yellow roses specifically because she had previously mentioned her preference for them, a gesture she later described as incredibly sweet and memorable.

4. 'Same here!'

Psychological research indicates that people are naturally drawn to those who share similar backgrounds, interests, or experiences. Highlighting mutual commonalities can improve online interactions, enhance team collaboration, and increase persuasiveness during negotiations or business meetings.

Establishing "same here" moments can involve simple shared traits, such as a hometown, age, or educational background. Van Edwards experienced this in 2025 when she was invited to appear on Khloé Kardashian's podcast. Feeling nervous about the initial small talk, Van Edwards prepared a list of shared experiences, such as both having attended all-girls schools and both having two children. Sharing these commonalities helped establish an immediate, comfortable rapport that allowed the conversation to flow naturally.

5. 'You're so...'

At the core of human connection is the desire to feel valued and validated. Rather than assuming others know they are appreciated, offering genuine validation can reinforce positive behaviors and build deep trust. Using positive labels helps individuals see themselves in a favorable light and encourages them to live up to those attributes.

This can be achieved by directly acknowledging a positive trait, such as someone's humor, punctuality, or charisma, by saying, "You're so [trait]."

This principle is illustrated by the early life of legendary fashion designer Cristóbal Balenciaga. Growing up poor in a small Spanish fishing village, Balenciaga once stopped the fashionable Marquesa de Casa Torres as she left a church, exclaiming, "How elegant you are!" This sincere compliment led to a conversation about his passion for fashion. The Marquesa subsequently gave him a dress to replicate, launching his career in style and design.